YES I CANNES!

I Thought I’d be Going to Cannes at 28 (turns out, I needed a few more decades)

I’m going to Cannes.

Yes, that Cannes. The one with the yachts, the questionable fashion choices, and the air of importance so thick you can practically moisturize with it.

When I first set out as a creative in NYC, I was an actress. Then a writer. Then a director and choreographer, for performance art, no less. Then a theater owner - anyone remember the short-lived Solo Arts Group, Inc? It was the semi-permanent home to the then up-and-coming Upright Citizens Brigade comprised of Amy Poehler, Matt Walsh, Matt Besser, and Ian Roberts (you’re welcome, comedy.)

In my spare time, between running a theater, being a private chef for such theatrical luminaries as Horton Foote, prepping cozy dinner parties for Nancy Coyne’s elite guest list with regulars like Frank Rich, Alex Winchell, and Roger Rees, along with waitressing at one of NYC’s first vegan restaurants and serving David Lee Roth, Fred Schneider, and my Tuesday night regular, Julianne Moore, AND working as the office manager for the Civitella Ranieri Center, an artists’ retreat in Umbria that included prestigious adjudicators such as Sandra Cisneros, Luisa Valenzuela, and Ann Beattie… in between those gigs, I found time to assist my brilliant indie filmmaker friends, all still working today and whose names I will not drop, because enough already.

At the time, some of those friends had films in competition at Cannes. Thus I had several opportunities to go, but never did. And I regretted it every time. The thing is, I was a devoted theater rat and even though I was integral to the film productions, whether it be by AD’ing, craft services, makeup design, driving the talent, etc., I always felt like an outsider. It never occurred to me that thirty years later I would be making my own film and be invited to attend the Cannes Film Festival.

But life does what life does, and I took what I lovingly refer to as a brief, 18-year detour into the legal world so I could support my daughter, whom I adopted, raised, and managed not to completely screw up, which honestly feels like its own award. Happy Mother’s Day to me!

Back to Cannes. I won’t be in the main festival, which would be insane. Instead, I’ll be screening my award-winning, Oscar-qualifying short film, SAVERIO, as part of the Diversity in Cannes Showcase, the official Short Film Corner at Cannes, and the American Pavilion for Emerging Filmmakers.

Emerging. I love that word at my age. Truth is, I’ve been emerging for about 30 years. At least they didn’t say Young Filmmakers, which used to be a thing until all of us elder, emerging filmmakers balked enough and forced it to change. But I must credit all the young filmmakers who worked on SAVERIO, who, at 28, are already dreaming of prestigious festivals, acceptance speeches, and second homes… I feel ya.

So suddenly, I’m here. Packing fabulous outfits for Cannes at an age where people are supposed to be… what exactly? Settled? Slowing down? Invisible? Far from it.

Here’s the part that makes me pause. While I’m preparing to go to one of the most prestigious film festivals in the world, I am also being inundated with articles, posts, texts, and think pieces about how the indie film industry is dying.

Financing is impossible.
The market is oversaturated.
Forget horizontal, everyone is going vertical.

Basically: Don’t bother. Which is ironic timing. Because I am, quite literally, bothering.

There’s something deeply freeing about arriving at a moment you thought you missed. About realizing the timeline you clung to so tightly was never actually yours.

What I know now that I didn’t know at 28 is there is no “right time.” There is only the time you show up.

(My first film festival, Phoenix Film Festival, with SAVERIO, where we won the Audience Award for Best Short)

Going to Cannes at this stage of my life feels deeply satisfying.

Because I’m not waiting for the industry to stabilize. I’m not waiting for someone to tell me it makes sense. I’m going anyway.

I plan to post more on this journey to Cannes, hopefully from the red carpet, and share the good, the bad, and the ugly. And if I run into Julianne Moore, who is being honored this year, I just may break the ice with, “Do you remember me? I used to serve you tempeh and vegetable stir-fry every Tuesday night while you worked on your scripts.”

I don’t know what will come from Cannes. Maybe meetings. Maybe momentum. Maybe just a really good story about overpriced rosé and blisters from my shoes, despite walking my dog daily in a variety of platforms to ensure I don’t get blisters.

But I do know this: I’m arriving right on time.

And if the indie film world is ending… I’d like to attend the funeral in a fabulous outfit.

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