I was feeling my 86 years negatively until we ate recently at a nearby Asian restaurant. As we entered, a young(ish) waitress scurried over, bowed to me, and led us to a near-by table. When she asked what we'd like to drink, I said "beer, please," to which she replied "Cool!" After we'd been seated my daughter pointed out a small sign on our table: "handicapped." Did I feel older?? No, I was flattered, especially when the waitress bowed us out the door after dinner.
"This post hit me hard," I say as I glance at the unopened box of Just for Men beard dye/wash sitting on the corner of my desk. I've hated the idea of dying my hair since I was young. It just rubs me the wrong way somehow.
Yet, the software job market is beyond cutthroat and I'm competing with folks literally half my age—people who don't have my mortgage or 2 kids in college—or diabetes. I love my big beard, but suddenly that big beautiful shock of grey hair that looks back at me on the video calls... feels like a weakness. Never, ever, show them weakness.
So, my first ever box of beard dye sits unopened in my office. It's been two weeks now. It feels like a bridge I don't want to cross. Like I'm consigning myself to die.
"I said, "Growin' up leads to growin' old and then to dyin'
Ooh, and dyin' to me don't sound like all that much fun"
-- John Mellencamp, Authority Song, the beloved rebellion anthem from my childhood
So many thoughts and empathetic feelings about your post. So well written, funny and sad but absolutely relatable. I love your description of the "monster me" the one who thinks the horrible thoughts-I think all of us menopausal women have been there, especially when the menfolk are complaining about things like graying hairs. Pppppplllleeeaaasssee. Thank you Barrington for a wonderful read at just the right time. :)
Loved this, Barrington. In a culture that worships youth almost as much as it does money, it’s hard to feel at peace with the aging process. If hair dye helps, onward (it certainly helps me).
I was feeling my 86 years negatively until we ate recently at a nearby Asian restaurant. As we entered, a young(ish) waitress scurried over, bowed to me, and led us to a near-by table. When she asked what we'd like to drink, I said "beer, please," to which she replied "Cool!" After we'd been seated my daughter pointed out a small sign on our table: "handicapped." Did I feel older?? No, I was flattered, especially when the waitress bowed us out the door after dinner.
I like all the bowing!
I think it might be the equivalent of calling someone “ma’am” but feels more stylish!😂
"This post hit me hard," I say as I glance at the unopened box of Just for Men beard dye/wash sitting on the corner of my desk. I've hated the idea of dying my hair since I was young. It just rubs me the wrong way somehow.
Yet, the software job market is beyond cutthroat and I'm competing with folks literally half my age—people who don't have my mortgage or 2 kids in college—or diabetes. I love my big beard, but suddenly that big beautiful shock of grey hair that looks back at me on the video calls... feels like a weakness. Never, ever, show them weakness.
So, my first ever box of beard dye sits unopened in my office. It's been two weeks now. It feels like a bridge I don't want to cross. Like I'm consigning myself to die.
"I said, "Growin' up leads to growin' old and then to dyin'
Ooh, and dyin' to me don't sound like all that much fun"
-- John Mellencamp, Authority Song, the beloved rebellion anthem from my childhood
So many thoughts and empathetic feelings about your post. So well written, funny and sad but absolutely relatable. I love your description of the "monster me" the one who thinks the horrible thoughts-I think all of us menopausal women have been there, especially when the menfolk are complaining about things like graying hairs. Pppppplllleeeaaasssee. Thank you Barrington for a wonderful read at just the right time. :)
Loved this, Barrington. In a culture that worships youth almost as much as it does money, it’s hard to feel at peace with the aging process. If hair dye helps, onward (it certainly helps me).